LovesEternalMuse

Happy Black Love Day!!!! Let's make it last forever, folks....and that is all...over and out....kisses, hugs, kugs to you and yours....

Love,
The Funky Fly Fresh Goddess

I woke up early this morning. It was 7:30 am and I woke up with a jolt. I heard an explosion in my dream and then a loud bang in my head. When I opened my eyes I thought that maybe my heart had exploded and I was on my way out...it was an awful way to wake up! I looked around to gather up as many memories as I could to take with me...you know, just in case you can take memories to the other side. I saw my phone blinking...I had voicemail messages from last night. I checked them and realized I was okay. I laid there for a while...there was a weird color in my bedroom. I thought it was raining outside, but I didn't hear any raindrops, so I got up and walked over to the window, I pulled back the shades, I opened the blinds, and I saw snow...Snow...the first white that I've been happy to see in a very long time...my snow. It made me miss home.

At home, the snow could fall and cover the dirty grime and grind of the city under a peaceful still. Early in the morning, after the snow had fallen throughout the night, if you look outside, you can see calm. No one has disturbed it yet. The snow hasn't been turned into the white that I see on the television or the white in the government or the white that killed my grandfather or the white that brainwashed my family or the white that stole, beat, used, abused, disrespected, and then banished my ancestors...no, the snow hasn't turned into that beast yet...it still lies there...quiet, calm, peaceful...When I was a child, I used to think to myself, "Self, wouldn't it be great if snow could be different shades of brown and black? Then it could be even more beautiful...it would look like us..." Interestingly enough, after the snow had been walked on, thrown, driven on, beat up, chemicalized, and the like...it looks black...it looks beaten...it doesn't look like the different shades of brown and black that I imagined...it looks like it fell victim to someone else's devices and ways....

Well, this morning it was snowing outside and I was happy it didn't stick. The white didn't stick and the earth was still green, different shades of brown, and black...the earth still looked like life and that made me happy...although, I do miss the snow that I remembered from my childhood...untainted, calm, quiet, peaceful, and without the ugliness of other's devices...

I am overcome with emotions that I need to release. I feel like words are failing me because nothing in the King's english can express what I feel today. These are my thoughts: He would never have been able to do all that he did and become all that he became for his family, this country, our youth, and the world without his Queen. She was courageous. She knew that this life would not be easy when she said to her future husband that she would be by his side...through it all and still she said "Yes." It took her six months to say "Yes" and it took her strength, love, and grace to help him through those frightening nights, sad days, and this society's painful ways. King's Queen was/is more important to us than I think we knew/know. I miss her already...I pray that I will be as strong, amazing, beautiful, compassionate, comforting, intelligent, impactful as Mama Coretta Scott King...Although I never received her hand, her presence and comfort has floated on top of, around, in between, and through my life, my mama's life, my grandmama's life. That woman lost her King and she never put down her crown. Never put down her crown...She fought his battles when he couldn't fight them himself, all the while, still fighting her own...that is something known to me and because of that, in addition to all her other amazing accomplishments...I am honored to call her mine, to call her ours, to call her name... Queen...Mama...Blessing...Beauty...Inspiration... Coretta...Yeye...All of the above. I am so overwhelmed by this loss...The tears come easy, but the words are choking me...I'm afraid for my people...We're losing so many, and the torch has yet to be passed...I volunteer myself...send me...I'll go...I'll do this work because I love HER, I love my family, I love my people, I love my past, I love my lessons, I love us more than I love things...I love Afrikans. It doesn't matter what we call ourselves...to me we are Afrikans and I love US. Flaws and flawlessness...we are perfect...maybe not yet realized, AND WE ARE PERFECT! I love us...I love Black people...I love African Americans...I love people of African descent...I love Afrikan people so much that if this struggle calls me, my answer will be, "I will go...send me" Thank you Afrikan women...Mama, Grandmama, Coretta, Betty, Sonia, Nikki, Assata, Angela, Ariminta , Ida, Veta, Marimba, Sonja, Sojourner, Bea, Margaret, bell, Patricia, Mary, Nina, Zora, Pearl, Katherine, Alice, Sarah, Bessie, Maya, Billie, Dorothy, Lena, Toni, Rosa, Leontyne, Ethel, Phillis, Sally, Ntozake, Elaine, Audre, and all the other Queens that have come before me...Thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...I can't say thank you enough because there isn't enough time in this life to share all my gratitude...I am thankful to you and when I think of what you gave to us...I cannot thank you enough. You were tired and you still kept going. You were hurt and you still kept going. You were taken for granted and you still kept going. You gave so much without receiving half of what you shared and you still kept going. Our Queens showed us the Creator's love...they walked it, spoke it, danced it, wrote it, cried it, wailed it, gave it, breathed it, laughed it, learned it, birthed it, proved it, knew it...They are God's love...I aspire to be that and more. I apsire to make our Afrikan Queens feel my devotion to their work. I apsire to make our Afrikan Queens know that I am humbled and inspired by their love and actions...and so I say again, if the question comes, when the struggle calls for me, when the ancestors call on me, when the Creator feels that we are ready for change, when it is time to run head first into the devil's army for my Afrikan warriors, our people, our children, our babies, our unborn, our past, our memories, our future...I promise to our Queens that I will say, "Send me...I will go...send me..."